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me red
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alex

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la 13-a de septembro 2007

(neniu temo)

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me red
I'm so fucking lonely! Why did this univerce spawn such a horrible place like Earth? I can't stand living in this fucked up planet any longer.

la 20-a de aŭgusto 2007

(neniu temo)

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I went to big bonfire on weekend, quite boring :(.

I might post some pictures later.

Mum found a blade that i had recently lost, now she is carrying on about it.

Today i'm going out and will probably walk to lavington to see alex, which will be fun. I live about 10KM away from it.

I can't write for shit :(
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la 15-a de aŭgusto 2007

(neniu temo)

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I went to my group counceling session today, me and emma were the only ones there, it was nice and peaceful :).
We made a collage of all the things in life that make us happy. I just drew indecipherable pictures. I couldn't think.
Then we talked about how to control our thoughts and reassure ourselves in times of need.
It depressed me immensely :(. It made me think of my friends and my insecurities about my social life.

I walked home and took my purty doggies for walkies :)

I wish life was easier.

Life is FUCKED UP!!!!! So many rules, so many restrictions, so many expectations, so many consequences! Why is it all so hard?!?
Why am i even here? Is there even a tiny bit of point to my existence? Life is so irritating! WHY?!?!?!?!?

I need to water my cactus, it looks thirsty.

Alex

la 11-a de aŭgusto 2007

(neniu temo)

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I like parks. They are quite tranquil and relaxing to be in. I could stay in the park behind my house for days without getting bored.

Today i woke up at around 9:30 realizing that the motherly one had left without me to make lamingtons for my hockey team (That i am forces to participate in). She made 500 dozen. She was the coconut person. She brought home two dozen for us and sold 16 dozen to colleagues. Lamingtons are yummy.

I'm very depressed at the moment, i see no point in living. I have to future in anything. I'm failing school and i am now marked as a behavioral problem due to my refusal to attend detention and my constant inability to attempt anything that a teacher hands me. I feel as if nobody even cares what i feel.

My feelings cannot even begin to be communicated through words of any language i understand. I am under constant torment.

I don't know what i am going to do with my life. I cannot continue to live with this weight that is ever increasing. I am being crushed under a object that cannot be seen.

Please save me.

la 6-a de aŭgusto 2007

(neniu temo)

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I'm home sick :(
I shouldn't have had alcohol, i feel terrible.
The party was awesome until i became intoxicated.

These pajamas are too thin, i wish i had warmer ones.

Today my friend mistook canada for russia, i crucified them.

I should probably do some homework....

Byeness

la 25-a de julio 2007

(neniu temo)

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today was okay...ish. I had Special K for breakfast, breakfast (yummy potassium) and surprisingly didn't have a fight with mum (which is highly strange).
School was okay. I had a low at around 20 minute. Brownies are delicious.

Why does the cold have to be so cold? Weather annoys me. I wish it was always pleasant temperature.

On friday i am seeing tyson (hot gay guy) again. This time Brad won't be there, HOORAY!!! :P Fun, Fun, Fun!

Tonight i ate steak and kidney pie with barbecue sauce and a potato.

Yesterday i forgot my keys and had to wait for three hours for my mum to get home. I ate my lunch and lay on the grass for a while. I jumped the fence and said hello to my dogs. Then i masturbated. I hate masturbating. My penis scares and disgusts me. I wish i was a girl.

I need music, give me music.

How do you like my new userpic? I took it two days ago. I have a red light in my room, it's awesome. I need credit for my phone, it's so frustrating having no way to contact people.

I'm so lonely. I miss my friends straight after they leave. I sit in my room listening to my ipod and crying. I can't talk to anyone in any of my classes. I change personality in class. I despise myself when i'm in class. I become a "clown" and says stupid things to make people laugh. I loath it. Afterward i feel like shit. I apologize to the teachers after class often.

I hate life.

la 21-a de julio 2007

(neniu temo)

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Hello there,
today was fairly uneventful
, i woke up, had eggs and bacon + crumpets, mum went to some birthday party for six hours, i had some more crumpets and then some cereal, watched the news twice(both times in languages i was unfamiliar with), mum got home and made me go for a walk with her(she's killing me), i sat down for a while i think <end of day>

last night i went to retro's 3rd birthday and met this hot gay guy from trinity, i think he was taken as he was pretty much kissing this other guy named brad the whole time. i sat next to him as close as i could(pretty much pressing up into him) and he didn't object, he just kept talking to everyone, including the guy sitting on top of him(brad). we talked about glow sticks and monique broke one and we got stuff all over us, lol, she got some in her hair, it was funny. monique was wearing
a rhcp tie-dye t-shirt and looked crazy(as she is). peoples were drinking cruisers(except me). there were people skateboarding, i hate them imensly, i hope for their death. i got a cab home at 11 and talked to the cabbie for a second. he seemed nice. he had been a cabbie for 8 years.

this is my first real blog entry so excuse it's incompetence please,
alex

la 10-a de julio 2007

(neniu temo)

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hello world
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